Mrs. F: Hi, Myka, how are your ovaries?
Myka: That seems like a really personal and unprofessional question to ask.
Mrs. F: Nonsense, I just had a similar conversation with Pete.
Mrs. F: Pete, have you considered drinking orange juice out of someone’s ass?
Pete: Sorry, I just don’t think that’s for me.
Mrs. F: Well, often a crisis can change someone’s priorities. You wouldn’t want to be closed to the possibility of drinking orange juice out of someone’s ass, would you? I’m just saying, some men may say they don’t like drinking orange juice out of someone’s ass, but can a man ever really be fulfilled without drinking orange juice out of an ass?
Artie: Claudia, your sister was Dark Phoenix, sorry.
Jinks: Whoa, so Myka’s lover was killed by an Artifact, Pete’s the son of a Regent, and Claudia both had her parents killed by an Artifact AND her brother was imprisoned in an alternate dimension by one. Isn’t this a little suspicious?
Claudia: I have a brother?
Pete: Janet Varney, TV’s Korra the Avatar? What are you doing here?
Janet Varney: I heard you had a forced, awkward romance to shoehorn into your show. I came as soon as I heard. Anyway, I had no romantic interest in my partner either, but then I was a lesbian for a little while, the world almost got destroyed, I had a health scare, my sister was Amy Acker—I don’t know, might be some parallel with your life, who knows? The important thing is, me and my new husband argue all the time, especially over him ogling scantily-clad women ten feet away from me. So, if you want your own contemptuous, barely functional relationship, you’d better get on that. Babies.
Myka: So, she and her partner got married, huh?
Pete: I guess good partners are good partners. Murtaugh and Riggs. Rusty and Cohle. Ice-T and Richard Belzer. If you work well together, you should fuck.
Pete: Myka, just so you know, if you ever want to settle for a loveless relationship based only on the drive to procreate based on a neurotic awareness of your own dwindling mortality, I’m here for you.
Myka: Stop, my panties are getting wet!
Claudia: Claire, I love you and I know you were put into a coma for your own good. But it’s the last season and every single female on this show must be heterosexually paired off, so I’m gonna wake you up to help me find a husband. It’s either that or marry Artie.